I'm an executive for a large horticultural products company. I am also an amateur guitarist. Like most middle-aged guys who were high school rock star wannabies in the 70's and 80's, I put my music on the shelf for 20 years because it rightfully took second priority to a career, wife and children. But now, the kids are a little older, we have a small nest egg and, even though life is a little hectic and usually demands serious adult commitments, there is a kid inside that just won't be denied. So the guitar recently came off the shelf and, with my wife's blessing, I fed a mid-life crisis in the least destructive way I could find - at Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp.

I've just returned home from the first One-Day-Only Camp and I can't believe that I have to go back to my day job tomorrow morning like nothing ever happened. I'm writing this now, the day after the event, so I can live the fantasy a little while longer - before the real world kicks me between the eyes and the details are lost in the day-to-day shuffle of corporate life.

Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp is a brain child of music industry promoter/producer David Fishof. It is a Rock & Roll version of the sports fantasy camps with which many sports fans are familiar. It works like this; gather a few willing legendary rock stars, offer a chance for the average guy or gal to jam with (and learn from) them. Make it interesting by throwing in a band competition, national publicity, and the use of top-name gear. Finally, charge a "you-better-be-serious-about-this" price. I was one of about 80 middle-aged amateur rockers who ponied up the $2000+ and showed up at 7:30AM on September 10th in Columbus, Ohio to rock out with Rock & Roll heroes from our high-school days.

I'll get the disappointment and regrets out of the way first so they do not later take away from the awesomeness of the experience. The camp was billed as a chance to be the opening act for a Journey and Def Leppard concert in which campers would get to interact with the bands before the main show. This turned out to be about half-true. We played on a side-stage, not the main stage. We basically got a quick photo with Journey, being allowed only one item for autograph by the band. We had almost no contact with Def Leppard. Although no reasons were given, my sense is that the 80 campers was just too many people for a one-day camp and that some logistics problems cropped up with the headlining bands and the use of the main stage. The second problem was that I was so nervous during my audition that it created a slightly embarrassing moment. More on that later…

The day started with an audition. We were given a list of a dozen songs in advance and were asked to choose and learn two of them for our audition. My picks were China Grove and Sister Christian. I was relieved to find out that I ended up with the Doobie Brothers' song as I have played it about 1000 times as lead guitar. I could play it with my eyes closed, standing on my head and with one arm tied behind my back. Campers were grouped into small bands of people who had chosen common songs and asked to get up on stage to play the song together so the counselors could get a feel for the skill level of each. The way the counselors did this was to play along with you - filling in missing instrument parts, singing or just generally goofing off on stage while you play.

Did I mention that the counselors were Kelly Keagy, Jeff "Skunk" Baxter, Mark Farner, Artimus Pyle, Spenser Davis, Simon Kirke, Teddy "Zig Zag" Andreadis, Michael Lardie, Sandy Genarro, Gunnar Nelson and Fred Coury? If you don't recognize any of the names, the following might be lost on you. However, a Google search on any name will result in about a million hits which might clue you in.

Auditions started. I was in the last group, which meant that about 20 "bands" went on stage before me. Amateur musicians who had never played together before were on stage performing with the artists who, in many cases, originally wrote and recorded the songs they were playing. There are no words to describe how awesome this was. The music was great, the performances were great. It actually sounded like these bands had had weeks of practice together! If we could have done only this all day it would have been worth the money. However - it got better…

But first, my audition! I was nervous. I knew the song well, knew my guitar was in tune, and even practiced a little earlier in the morning. But all of that amounted to nothing. I got up on stage, fumbled with the Gibson-provided Marshall Amp a little, finally got the cord plugged into the guitar and started adjusting my sound. While I'm farting around like this is the first time I've ever seen a ¼" instrument plug, the counselors bust in to a spontaneous rendition of Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" to kill time while we campers get ready. I hope my mouth wasn't hanging open too far…..

OK. I'm all set - Marshall Amp set for light crunch and serious reverb, guitar volume knob at 1/3 so I can crank it up for the solo, cord looped through the strap so I don't accidentally trip over it and pull it out…..

Assuming I'm lead guitarist, I strike the first chord - the Amp sounds so sweet that I can't believe it was my guitar that had made that sound. I look up to see if there is someone else playing lead and see Artimus Pyle standing 3 feet in front of me ready to join in with a tambourine. My brain chose that moment to reboot and, in the long history of Rock & Roll guitar, I became the first to ever flub the elegantly simple opening phrase of China Grove. Luckily, I don't have a lot of mental overhead and the reboot completed rather quickly. Back online and head down (to hide my embarrassment) I pretty much nailed the rest of the song (at least that is how I remember it!). There was a short moment where I wasn't sure if the solo was mine or the camper's on the other side of the stage - but I decided to play it figuring that if we both did, it would probably sound pretty cool. As it turned out, I was the lead and ran through the rest of the song to end with a loud, gracious cheer from the crowd of campers. I had just played LEAD guitar on stage with rock stars whose equipment I am not fit to carry.

Now, even though I am not qualified to be a roadie for these guys, they did not act it. David Fishof went out of his way to introduce himself to each camper and learn about them. Lynn Hoffman of VH-1 Classic interviewed us and cheered us on during practices. Most importantly, the Counselors were amazing. They were fun, friendly and without even a little aloofness - they were there for us and seemed to genuinely enjoy the event as much as we did. On with the show…

After auditions, Jeff Baxter gave an interesting and humorous "Master Class" to guitarist while Simon Kirke did the same for Percussion. The other "judges" used this time to draft the campers into bands for a "Battle of the Bands" show to take place immediately prior to a Journey/Def Leppard concert. Each band was assigned a counselor and was asked to pick and learn a song, pick a name for the band and practice for the battle. We were given a "Studio" - a tent equipped with 2 Drum Kits, Amps, Microphones and a PA system. We had about 4 hours to prepare.

I was assigned to the legendary Mark Farner along with campers Mike Almaraz (Drums), Pete Mitchell (Drums), Micheal Hiner (Bass), Terry Sullivan (Guitar), Marc Wayner (Guitar) and Scott "Bite the Big Bear" Prankie on lead vocal. This was one of the minor shortcomings of having such a large group of campers - every band had 2 drummers and 3 guitarists. Personally, I like multiple guitars - but I felt a little funny about drummers having to share the stage.

We called ourselves "Loose Change" and, after a short discussion, decided to play "Some Kind of Wonderful". Reasons? Our singer could nail it and knew the lyrics, it is somewhat simple, it's a real crowd pleaser and we were quite honored to pay tribute to Mark Farner's band "Grand Funk Railroad". There was to be no show boating - just clean, tight music and a lot of fun. Although there was talk of winning, I had seen some of the other campers who were all extremely talented and did not get my hopes up. It was certainly going to be a good fight! When it was determined that I had as much chance of singing backup as a rusty doorknob, Mark joined the band and stood at the microphone. You could tell that he was really having fun as the practice started to bare fruit and the song came together under his direction.

As we practiced, we got excited. We actually sounded pretty damn good. True, it was a simple song, but noone in the band had even known one chord of it before the practice began. Each time we played, we figured out a little more - and helped each other. After about 4 or 5 runs through, we had it pretty well figured out.

Now, I can copy just about anything, but I am not very good at improv. I spent most of my lunch time trying to develop some cute fills for the bridge and a killer riff to play over the inevitable outtro power chord (that last chord where the whole band goes crazy at the end of every self-respecting Rock & Roll song). Although I had a few fills figured out, I decided not to use most of them - not wanting to risk something unpracticed and accidentally sound stupid (OK - I chickened out). After lunch, we were enjoying the experience so much that we played the song more than needed just for the fun of it. So this is what is like to be in a real band?? I LIKE IT!!!

We were to play in the second-to-last spot - a great position. My wife and three friends showed up to watch and cheer me on. The battle was incredible - all of the 11 bands were awesome, ripping off 70's and 80's era favorites. After an amazing performance by Teddy Andreadis' band called "Toys in the Attic", we took the stage. This time, the nerves were only small butterflies - I wasn't about to let a brain fart ruin this one.

In my opinion, we hit the ball out of the park. The band was tight, the audience was dancing and we had huge fun with it. When we nailed and choked off the final power chord, the audience erupted. We didn't win the battle. I'm not even sure how we placed, and it doesn't matter because we did what rockers do - we entertained the audience and had fun doing it.

There is so much more to remember, like a discussion of the early days of "The Who" with Sandy Genarro, fun chat about Amsterdam coffee shops with Artimus Pyle, and a humerous rant about "Disco" sessions from Skunk Baxter. But this writing is about my experience as "Rock Star for a Day" so I will immortalize these other tidbits elsewhere and drop them in conversations with friends and family while explaining how incredibly gracious these people were to the campers.

My wedding, the birth of my two daughters and my day at Rock & Roll Fantasy Camp; four days I'll never forget - four days I'm sure I will always wish I could better remember.